Friday, August 17, 2012

Doubt & Anxiety

(I originally wrote this as a post for my personal blog, but it seems as if it is also appropriate to here)

Doubt and anxiety are eating me alive today.

I thought quitting my paying job was the right decision.  It wasn't a choice I made lightly.  I agonized over it.  I prayed and prayed over it.  I thought that was the right path for the next phase of my life. I would stay home, have my little Etsy shop, take care of my family and manage my home - and all would be right with the world. It all seemed so clear.

Now things are fuzzy.

As we look into the face of expense after unexpected expense my anxiety increases. Queen B's Busy Work isn't buzzing, it's crawling along on it's best days. The items I took to the consignment store still sit on display, unsold. Instead of the bright sunny future I pictured as I made plans, things are looking tight, grim and bleak.

I have a gnawing, nagging, nauseous feeling in my gut. I am doubting myself and the choices I have made in the past year.  I feel guilty for not having a steady income coming in like I used to. I find myself wondering if I should go apply for a part time job - any part time job.  I am beating myself up for leaving my previous job. 

This isn't the way it was supposed to be.

1 comment:

  1. Trust in the Lord to guide you, His plan will reveal itself to you, maybe as a sudden increase in sales thru Queen Bee or a job opening that would allow you to work around current commitments, just have faith it will be ok :)) hang in there will be praying for you!


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